5 easy steps to build your Self-Confidence – Mental Health Help with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

5 easy steps to build your Self-Confidence – Mental Health Help with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

Today I want to give you five easy steps to build your self confidence. So stay tuned. (Intro Music) I get many questions about what do I do, I feel really bad about myself. And I want to give you some easy steps to building your own self confidence. Because when we believe in ourselves and we know that we can do things and we can achieve things, we actually do. There are honestly so many other ways, I’m only giving you five today, but there are so many other ways that we can work to build our self confidence. So if any of you have tips that you’d like to leave, let me know below. And make sure to share this video, because the more we spread this, the more self confidence we can bring to people. Right. And that’s amazing. So without further a do, number 1: Groom yourself, dress nicely. You’d be surprised how much better we feel about ourselves when we are showered, when we are wearing an outfit that we feel good in. And I know this seems like specific to girls, but guys are the same. If you are clean shaven, you’re wearing a nice outfit, and you’re headed in somewhere, and you feel like I am ready to kick some ass. There’s something about being dressed nicely, being clean and groomed that makes us feel so much better about ourselves. And that’s something that is actually pretty easy to take care of. Number two: Think Positively I talk all the time about having that negative voice and that positive voice, but let’s actually do it. We have to kill those negative thoughts. We can’t let them live in our lives all the time. And taking notice of how often we’re thinking negative things, like “I can’t do this. This is terrible. It’s never gonna work. Blah, blah, blah.” The longer we spend feeling bad about ourselves. So stop it! Notice! Think positive! Be like, “I can. I’m amazing. This is gonna happen, because I want it to.” And if we can turn around those negative thoughts, and we can squash them, get rid of them, and turn them into positive. We’ll not only feel better and like have an air of confidence about ourselves, we’ll also get so much more accomplished. And we’ll actually start achieving our goals. Now number three, right off of number two is Act Positive. Sometimes the quote that I use a lot is “Fake it ’til you make it.” Because often times by volunteering, by getting out and spending time with people who build us up, and being friendly to people. Be generous. Be welcoming to people at the coffee shop. “Oh hi, let me get that door for you. Thank you so much. You’re so nice. Oh that made my day.” Being friendly to other people and acting in a positive manner can totally turn it around for us. And I even have that experience in my life. If I get up and I’m running late and I go to the coffee shop. And it’s not … like the other day, they’re like drip coffee only, uhhh. I don’t like drip coffee. I drove extra to go over here and get this coffee from you, and now you can’t make it. And I could have really let myself feel really bad, but instead I decided to act positively. Open the door for this little lady. “Hi, good morning, good to see you, hope you have a good day.” And my day turned around. So if you can’t make it, we can fake it. It’s okay. Number four: Get prepared. You don’t want to go somewhere, to a test or to an interview or meet new people without feeling prepared for it. This can be anything from like me taking my licensing exam. I studied my ass off. I took practice exams. I took practice quizzes. I practiced practice flash card flash card, so that I felt prepared. Because often times we almost set ourselves up to feel bad. Like we will go into an interview, and we’ll stress about it. And we won’t even do anything to prepare for it. And then we sit there and they ask us questions. And we don’t know what to say. That just recapitulates that negative thinking. And so we’ll keep thinking “Ya, see I am a dumb idiot.” But you’re not. We’re not. We just weren’t prepared. So whatever it is that you’re going to do, even if you’re going to a friend’s house, and you know you’re going to go out that night bring a couple of pairs of clothes that you feel good in. Like I said in number one, dressing nice. You want to prepare for it. You want to make sure you get enough sleep, because you’re gonna be out late. Maybe, you know, there are things we can do to prepare ourselves for success. And the more prepared we are, the better we’ll feel about ourselves. And the final, number five, the final tip to building better self confidence is setting small goals and achieving them. Now this doesn’t mean get an “A” in science or land that new job. Those are not small goals. Small goals are make each one of these things a habit: this week I’m gonna shower and dress nicely 3 days. The today I’m gonna make sure that I’m friendly to one person. Those are small goals, because guess what? When we achieve those small goals we feel even better about ourselves. And we’re like “Yeah, yeah, put a check in that box, that thing that I was gonna do this week” So each week I encourage you to set small goals working towards the things that I just mentioned. So whether it’s I’m gonna get out of bed, I’m going to shower, and I’m going to care how I look. I’m going to dress nice. Two days. One days. Whatever it is. I’m going to be nice to one person. I’m going to get out and prepare for that test that’s coming up in two weeks. Today I’m going to prepare for thirty minutes. Whatever it is, set those small goals, because each time you achieve them, you’ll feel better and better. And I promise, if we’re working together and we’re working these tools, we will start to feel better about ourselves. And then, the world is our oyster. Right. We can do whatever we want. And we’re a force to be reckoned with. So keep checking back. Keep liking these videos and sharing them. If you haven’t hoped on my website, I’m on katimorton.com. I’m on Tumblr. I’m on Twitter. And I’m on Youtube, obviously because that’s where you’re watching me. So don’t forget to subscribe and I’ll see you next time. (Exit music) And I almost forgot, what other tips and tricks do you have? What helps build your self confidence? Leave your comments below, and let’s get this conversation started. (Exit music) Subtitles by the Amara.org community

100 Replies to “5 easy steps to build your Self-Confidence – Mental Health Help with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

  1. When I play with my cousin and friends and if we are playing basketball and that other team win I fell like it was my fault and that my team blames everything on me and I lose my confidence 😭

  2. Hi Kate, I watch your videos, they are good for my recovery. Thank you for making videos. Regards, Subbu.

  3. Great video Kati, thanks…
    My advices are:
    1. keep your living space clean, tidy and clutter free, you laundry done and the sink free of dirty dishes… My house is always a mess when I am stressed out and doubting my self and it reflects my inner space.
    2. Don't care about what other people think and avoid mean an negative people, treat them as if they don't exist!!!
    3. Reach out to people that are kind and caring.
    4. Be optimistic!!!

  4. Such great advice! I love finding new ways to build the right tools in order to believe in myself. Thanks so much!

  5. You're absolutely right about being positive! But how can I help others. For example my niece and my daughter are beautiful and smart but they both have really negative attitudes… my niece gets mad when I try to get her to see the positive side of things and my daughter said "why are you encouraging me when I suck" also said "why do I have to be nice all the time" How can I stay positive with all the negativity and how can I share my positivity?

  6. The best in video is about preparation. I think it could help me n lots of other people who are sometimes don't know why there doesn't get satisfactory results from anything. ✌really nice😍😘👑

  7. Make a playlist of upbeat songs to get you pumped! It usually makes me feel more outgoing in social situations afterwards

  8. What do I do when I have terrible social anxiety? I can be friendly but I can never open up to people. I can never think of anything to say, and when I do say something I tell myself over and over in my head to just shut up.

  9. I especially like tip #3 because when all is said and thought it's actions that matter most.

  10. I'm working on step 5. but it made me laugh that you used the example "get an A in science" because I'm in a Bachelor of science, so all my goals revolve around getting an A in science haha. But it's not easy, i try not to get discouraged if I get a low mark and keep reminding myself how damn hard my degree can be at times, taking a more positive perspective

  11. But what if your negative thoughts are because of your parents? What if they are the reason you are feeling the way you do, if they cause all the negative aspects? #KatiFAQ

  12. 1.dress nicely
    2. Think positive
    3. Feel postive and being friendly with others
    4. Get prepared and practice for ur work
    5. Set small goals . ☺
    Enjoy life

  13. Hi Kati,Thank you for sharing your wonderful insight with us. I am a School Social Worker, I have been introducing the "MindUP curriculum" to my kids, by focusing on building skills first (i.e.: social, communication, coping skills, etc., and I find your videos extremely helpful, one small suggestion, is there any way you can do a series for children?I wanted to share the videos your created on "Personal Boundaries" and "Self-confidence", because the structure is very clear and to the point; However, there are some cursing words in there…. trust me I curse too LOL, BUT I can't get that REAL with these kids, or they will kick me out of this school. LOLI will soooooo appreciate some material on "setting boundaries"/ keeping your hands to yourself, or topics like: self-esteem/ self-worth, coping skills when things do not go your way (for elementary and middle school kids). Please help!!!!!:))) THANK YOU!

  14. I don't like going outside.
    Get shy when I receive compliments.
    I don't show my personality.
    I have only one close friend, but she doesn't know much about me.
    In class, I'll talk, but when I'm at home, I'll shut myself in my room.
    I hate hugs because I have a fear of people finding me too clingy.
    I get shy to make new friends.
    I don't like teachers asking me questions.
    Been bullied over four times.
    Name called.
    No one listens to me, but I listen to them.
    I'm wildly unpopular.
    I'm scared to show my talents.

  15. One of my sayings I've often said with a shrug is "The worst it can do is fail." Lol, for me it means I'll try a new food or try on that cute pair of pants.

  16. I suppose Kati when you say "dress nicely" you don´t necessarily must dress up, that is different from dress nicely. Am I correct?

  17. I keep a self esteem/warm fuzzies journal… I try to write down things I did well that day (not body related) and nice things people have said that give me the warm fuzzies 😊. Also my teacher who was teaching child development was all a mental health professional… she suggested doing two nice things for your self… I believe we call it self care these days lol

  18. "if you cant make it, you can fake it!" – what again are we talking about?! 😂😂😂😂😂

    seriously, good video 😀

  19. i did a violin solo and i was so scared that i almost decided not to go i felt like i couldn't do it, turns out i was wrong i got 1st place.

  20. I'm 16 and my boyfriend recently got put in juvie and i was not prepared at all, the was no way i could have seen it coming. Not only am i dealing with whats going on with him but he also had to move out of my house after being here with me for a year. It's really hard being on my own and i have a history of self harm and suicide attempts and disordered eating, and through all this i haven't slipped back AT ALL and i have no one to thank but myself, but i want everyone going through something that seems impossible to move on from or live with, its possible. positive self talk, journaling, reaching out to other, letting myself cry, eating a BALANCED diet, and having a self care routine has been whats let me keep up with work and school and piano lessons even as im going through the hardest thing i have ever had to go through (maybe not compared to being suicidal but thats certainly how its been feeling) so remember people! be kind to yourself!! its so easy to give in and let the sadness control your behavior and goals, and its a uphill battle to pull yourself out of a sadness slump just with sheer willpower to keep going and say nice things about yourself and the world over and over again until you believe them. do that and those happy grateful thoughts will be whats in the back of your mind when trying to handle everyday life, and posistive thoughts rather than negative haunting you makes SUCH a difference!!! if i can do it you can do it. POSITIVE SELF TALK PEOPLE THERE IS NOTHING BETTER and no greater feeling than knowing you're worth it. Love you kati and your channel so much!

  21. I have a problem with your #4 suggestion. It never mattered how much I was prepared for anything, whether it be a test at school, job interview, or even when I would sing at my childhood church! It didn't matter how much I prepared for those things, I STILL would be so scared and overwhelmed and afraid of judgement from others, that I often would just blank (especially for tests and interviews). The fear and paranoia of negative judgement never stops.

  22. How do I convince others that I can study for a good career. So far I've been told about many things I can't do because of my mental illness by people that know me the most.

  23. First time I've listened and watched you. I really enjoyed the topic and I feel better now than before!! So, thank you!

  24. After so many years and years , my mind is opening up just by being so grateful. Although I’m surrounded by love, support and the likes, I was never ever grateful as I am now in my life. I still need to work on being confident but I already started towards it by just being so grateful.

  25. Just wonderful, been searching for "how to build confidence in others" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried – Hanhristian Ganuhammad Blueprint – (just google it ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my work buddy got great results with it.

  26. I can definitely attest to your first point. Definitely feel like a million bucks just by wearing a dress shirt and tie.

  27. The tip about baby steps is a good one. I mean you often hear that quote, "Rome wasn't built in day." It's a very true saying. Also if you look at things like music and art and anything really. You don't suddenly pick up a guitar and start playing like a superstar. You don't suddenly start painting and start producing picaso's. So why wouldn't building your self confidence not be the same as all that.

  28. Thank you! This was so helpful!

    Tips I use:
    1. I try not to judge others; I acknowledge that they have limitations and limited experiences.
    2. I acknowledge that it takes time to get over a life of believing that I am victim of others.
    3. I repeat to myself:
    "Jessica you are not a victim".

  29. Thank you very much for this advice & suggestions, I really appreciate this, so pleased I came across this video! 😊❤️

  30. I love these videos. They set me up every day for positivity! I have bpd and a 1 year old. I have to keep myself positive for my family. Thank you!!

  31. My issue with "positive thinking" is that it has the side-effect of setting these expectations that aren't going to be fulfilled and you set yourself up to feel dangerously low when things go bad.

  32. I remember I was in a deep depression and my self care was so poor. so one morning I got up to pee like normal and while I was in the bathroom I i randomly decided to brush my teeth and wash my face, then I went to my room and moisturised and drank some water and got out of my pjs. sounds so normal to anyone without depression, but for me it made me feel sooo much better! I made getting up and peeing, something everyone does, the cue for actually getting up properly and starting my day having achieved something. by just having one core thing and building off that it can make such a difference to your confidence <3

  33. Hi everyone.
    Happy Holydays!
    I got one tip for all of you!
    I got a notebook which I use to write motivational quotes or nice things people have said to me, and whenever I fell down I just take a look on it

  34. To put yourself in situations that makes you feel unfordable but do It anyway will make you grow as a person and also benefit your self confident,

  35. Kati! Thank you so much for this. I have a lot of stress and anxiety, so sometimes it's easy for me to forget about how I'm feeling and how that can factor in the first place. This is a huge help 🙂

  36. Even better than think positive in my opinion is simply to stop caring. Not in a nihilistic way but in a genuine, who cares if people judge me, way in a "So what if I fail, I will try again" way. That builds so much self confidence for me its incredible. Positive thinking while helpful, doesn't work for everyone, but not caring worked wonders for me.

  37. Well its Friday and im up now and after watching this video i feel determined to look/dress put some effort into my appearance at work. Blech, i have 2 hours. I can do this 🤞

  38. How we treat ourselves will set the stage for how everyone else will treat us.

    I'll admit it's a statement that I would be much better off practicing, rather than preaching, but it's still relevant lol

  39. I would just like to add: Dress nicely is never equals to having to buy expensive clothes. I believed that some time ago and never felt good in the clothes I had/I was able to afford, but then I realized with some help that it is all about how you wear the clothes, how you feel in them and that a price tag won't make you enjoy them less or more. I love thrift shopping and going to garage sales, and other second hand stores and I've found so many pieces that I absolutely love and make me feel self-confident and smart since I know I am not breaking the bank to feel happy and comfortable ! 🙂

  40. for me it helps to take time for myself where I'm only with myself 😊 that time for me is often in the car, where I loudly turn on some really nice music and dance and sing to it while driving. no one can see or judge me and I can be fully myself. after those drives I always feel more confident 😊

  41. How do you cope with a negative parent who keeps tearing your confidence down just as you start to feel better about yourself?

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