ARE EATING DISORDERS SUICIDAL BEHAVIOR? | Mental health w Kati Morton | Kati Morton

ARE EATING DISORDERS SUICIDAL BEHAVIOR?  |  Mental health w Kati Morton | Kati Morton


100 Replies to “ARE EATING DISORDERS SUICIDAL BEHAVIOR? | Mental health w Kati Morton | Kati Morton

  1. I lead a very unhealthy lifestyle. I know it's damaging my health but I don't really care. I have always thought about suicide but the idea does come and go.

  2. I kind of think that there is a difference between suicide and allowing something to kill you or maybe not caring if it does because in my experience there's a lot going on in an eating disorder at least consciously the aim is not to die and I think an important part of suicide is intention but that's just my opinion and experience.

  3. Thank you Kati!! I'm trying to join Patreon!!! Hopefully soon. I 100% agree eating disorders are a passive way to commit suicide. Although not diagnosed with an eating disorder, I won't eat for X number of days in anger or sadness. For me personally, I say I act out that way. Whenever I get dizzy or feel pain, I know that I'm hurting myself and you basically explain it in today's video. I totally agree with everything you said, I just didn't think in depth of it. Thank you Kati, hope filming is going well!!

  4. idk if I have an eating disorder. I think my body and everything is repulsive, and I like to control what little I eat. I never binge but occasionally purge. Is this a problem?

  5. Salut Kati 🙂
    Having a question, please: Why do I enjoy watching ED related videos RIGHT at that particular time when I'm showing ED behaviours?
    (Sorry for my English. I'm German)
    Thanks a lot.

  6. Hey Kati, nice video! Very informative.
    I have gotten a little better in the past 2 years working on my own, I suffer from suicidal ideation because of my depression and chronic pain.
    My thoughts were really bad my freshman year and that's why I told my school psychologist.
    Of course I got in trouble with my mom and am at a different school now but, I'm glad you made it clear that if you have an idea of suicide (witch I did and still do) it doesn't mean that you want to die, it just means you want the pain to go away.
    I am still trying to figure ways to lessen the pain in a Healthy way. The pain it's day to day but when it gets bad it's hard to talk about and I also don't want to get into any bad habits such as taking a pill every day because the pain changes and I don't want that to be part me my routine in life especially when I wasn't told to do that.
    It also hard when your family isn't supportive and pretends my pain doesn't exist.
    P.s. Have you found anything on chronic pain?

  7. In my opinion and own experience as an anorexic, you answered the question on the money. It's exactly how it is. At least when it comes to me.

  8. I know exactly what my eating disorder is from. I'm allergic to nickel, and highly sensitive. If I eat anything that contains nickel, which is basically every natural and from the ground, I feel sick, get huge splotches and open wounds, and break out in hives. Been happening to me since I was a young kid, and I just couldn't bring myself to eat most of the time.
    So I became anorexic and struggled with hiding it while living with my family.
    Now I'm just starting to get better, but still struggling, it's not an easy path to healing. I was also suicidal for a long time, but something was stopping me, I was actually just too lazy and I knew my life hadn't hit rock bottom completely but now I'm super co-dependent. :/

  9. Thanks so much for sharing this video! I'm going to re-post it so others can get this valuable information! <3

  10. Hey Kati!
    I'm constantly finding myself strictly following some diet when i feel bad.. I'm scared to let it go because i know i will hate myself more if i do. Still i'm so tired of this.. I'm 37 years old and had anorexia when i was 16 years old.
    What are the ways to heal from an eating disorder? I know it get's worse when i'm stressed and my relationships are bad.. I'm planning to talk about this with my therapist.
    Thank you for your videos!
    /Lisa,
    Sweden

  11. In talking with my friends who have sought help with eating disorders, the recurring theme was more of control than of harm… and then it evolves into a behavior of habit with a need for an immediate fix of control to curb anxiety from an environment of little control (perhaps internally or externally).

  12. loved this vid awsome . you have a look of my little cousin who is six . hope that doesn't insult you . but you are awsome I love you. x

  13. Thank you Kati. Im watching this before i head out to my therapy assessment? I think you could call it that. I was feeling very anxious and hearing your kind words helped. Thank again (:

  14. Hi Kati! With all my respect. You have such beautiful fucking eyes ;).. if you don't mind reading? I was talking to this woman met online through out vegan community and Skype. well she lives in Australia & i'm in NYC. i said something she liked & the conversation went on & on for a month. At that time we really start to like each other. it was a never ending connection between two soul ''in love'' to meet up soon haha.

    Let me get right to the point. We had so much in common. One day we were talking about mental illness.. Well she was really comfortable telling me how she went through eating disorders like (anorexia) Plus her problem like mood stability, more like bipolar? with psychotic features.. She also mention she had PTSD.. ^_^

    I felt sorry with everything she's going through. Something i said to her was ''What was her most scary experience'' And that day she never reply back to me. After a few days not hearing from her'' she came back ''sorry my love'' ill reply soon. She said ''Just going through some personal shit''. So i let her alone to come to me at her own pace. But not hearing from her, a month went by. I did send her a lovely message ''Darling! what's wrong'' and how sometimes life has ups & downs. how beautiful she is''. and so on .
    She did reply back to me with ''More than life hun'' and then reply ''I will see you soon, honey love you''.Well I've been almost 2 months now and i haven't hear from her since that day.

    She was really lovely said how i meant a lot to her. shes such an young woman 21. I understand her mental illness but she really not telling me something.

    I wonder if she did relapse again from eating disorders?
    Why she didn't open up to me?Do you think she feel ashamed, guilty?

    Thanks in advance!

  15. I have a pretty healthy body (not overweight, leaning a little towards but not underweight), but I feel really guity when I eat "unhealthy" food, like chips or even ice cream. Like, terribly guilty. I think I'm really scared of becoming unhealthy. After, I don't feel like eating anything for hours and I usually run to make myself feel better. But the thing is, I do enjoy the taste of this food (who doesn't?) so I always end up coming back to eating it. But this makes me feel even worse, and I go back to not eating again. Is this an eating disorder? Is there any way for this to go away?

  16. When my depression gets really bad I use to direct the pain in different parts of body. Never cut myself because that type of pain doesn't work for me but I used to beat fists into door or even into a wall until I got my knuckles bloody. But then I changed the way I deal with pain and started overeating myself. The little voice in my head tells me it's the slowest suicide so yeah, I do think it's suicidal behaviour. At least for me. My health isn't exactly in top condition thanks to it. Therapists around my town are horrible so I'm alone in this. Been trying to lose some weight but when the mood gets down I basically stop caring and shove something fat into me.
    Last few months were pretty good, though. Except this week. My grandma died, a girl I have a crush on told me when she was drunk that she has a friend with benefits and that she can't even imagine to truly love someone, and on top of that I have to deal with my shitty father. Today it hit me really hard – basically I just slept, ate whole pack of Oreos and a pizza on top of other stuff and tried to play videogames to forget the reality. And tomorrow? I'm going to a cabin with bunch of my friends including her so I'll just have to pretend everything's good which will eventually make it even worse.

  17. Interesting take on eating disorders.

    I often restricted food as a suicide method as a teenager because I didn't want my parents to find me dead. I would have much rather they could visually see I was sick before passing away. I felt it wouldn't be as a horrific an experience for them because it would happen gradually rather than suddenly

  18. Just curious….so would you say that overeating/choosing unhealthy foods/being very overweight (due to the above)/emotional eating is also a suicidal behavior?

  19. #katifaq
    Hey Kati! thanks for everything you do 🙂
    I had a question, is talking about mental health to much bad?

  20. I'm so thankful you made this Kati my friend is struggling with this and now I have a better look at this so thank you

  21. Hi Kinions! I have a question about medication and pregnancy. I'm currently on anxiety and OCD meds but want to try for kids in the next few years. Does anyone have experience with going off meds for this reason? Kati, could you do a video about this. I know I can ask a doctor but I'd love to hear some personal experiences
    thanks!

  22. Like for me it's kinda a way like I know if I don't eat for a limit amount of days you can go to the hospital. But I think it just depends on the person and how they are feeling. Thanks Kati. Sorry for not commenting on the other videos I was busy but I watched them. 🙂 Have a wonderful day 😀

  23. I can relate to this so much. Only after I decided to start recovering from my eating disorder did I realize that my bulimia gave me a way to passively commit suicide. I always thought about it and had vague plans but didn't actually want to go through with it, so I just focused on getting sicker as a way to passively to commit suicide instead

  24. I think they are. Like, in my opinion, they plant the seed. Firstly you're dealing with all of the pressure to eat, not to eat, exercise etc. Secondly, we all know the danger of it. Third, this could also lead to more drastic and harmful measures.

  25. You're point about eating disorders being a coping mechanism and helping us get through stuff really resonated with me. I don't have an eating disorder but I have struggled with self harm and I've always felt really guilty and ashamed of it, but I think seeing it as a coping mechanism can kind of help me come closer to forgiving myself. Yes it might not have been the best way of dealing with everything, but it was the only way I knew…. With that being said I'm not sure if all eating disorders are suicidal behavior. That may be a general trend, but I think there are some exceptions, because one of my good friends used to suffer from anorexia and she says that she never really thought of herself as sick even. For her it started with an obsession with being healthy which lead her to exercise too much and eat too little. Even though she was really hurting herself for her it wasn't a conscious choice to neglect her body… at least that's how I understood it.

  26. How can someone knows if they or somebody they care about is having an eating disorder ? I remember you did video about it before but I couldn't find it . ^^

  27. #KatiFAQ
    Hey Kati, do you know a lot about gender dysphoria? I am by birth female, and I am really attracted to males, but from a young age I've always wanted to be a male. I've never at all been attracted to girls, and if I transitioned, that would mean I'd be a gay male. My therapist tells me it's because of my traumatic childhood, and that plenty of guys are attracted to tomboyish girls, and he kind of pushed it aside, saying it's all in my head. Do you have any thoughts?

  28. I believe that my Anorexia was a little bit a way to kill myself. Because I did not have enough courage to end my life. Anorexia was my way to destroying myself slower = slow suicide. Anyway I love your videos, they teaching people about a taboo topic which is mental health.They are so helpful because you are speaking loud about many topics that are so relevant today. I am starting Psychology in University in September and just keep going with your videos because they are great. 😊

  29. +Kati Morton I think eating disorders may be a way of a slow suicide. Although I went without food or water for 2 weeks in hopes that I'd die.

  30. #katiFAQ hey kati i was just kinda wondering if almost always taking diet pills and feeling like you have to take them can be considered an eating disorder or some other type of problem? I take usually one a day but i feel like i have to along with an extreme workout routine and if i do manage to stop i tend to buy another bottle after only a month. What are your thoughts

  31. Kati , I love your videos . This video is the perfect explanation of ED and suicidal thoughts. It's passive . At least from my experience.

    QUESTION: What are your tips about college and ED/anxiety? And how to manage later after you have been considered 'Recovered' by professional help.

  32. I agree that we are attempting to use our ED to numb out, but I also know that it never crossed my mind just how much damage I was doing in my ED. I had periods of suicidal thoughts in my ED, so I can see both sides of this. For me though, my ED and alcoholism was a way for me to cope so I could go on as I often dreamed there was a softer way to live. No matter what, an eating disorder can and WILL kill you if you don't reach out and get honest and find recovery. Thanks for going back to basics Kati. Loved the video.

  33. I relate and have had ED and alcohol issues, in the past. Now, I have so many physical health issues, as well as the MH side. My dad and other family members died young and I tell myself I probably will, even though I don't know of anything terminal I have. My issues are all chronic. My best friend did die of Cancer. I feel passively suicidal, even when not actively so, and am so depressed and lonely. I want to finish my novel though, so try to keep going. The UK NHS is useless, so don't get support from professionals. Your videos help, though. xxx

  34. I don't know if I would call am Ed sucidal but I think the Ed acts as a dissociation of "life." In the fact that in that moment that the Ed seems most necessary we don't really care if we love or die because we just want to stop feeling the emotional pain. I think the same goes for self harm too. Just my thought 😁

  35. #katiFAQ #FAQ +katimorton would you be able to do a video on what's a healthy attachment to a therapist vs an unhealthy attachment towards your therapist, I dont know whats happening with my own therapist as i feel myself start to become really attached to her and always wanting her in every situation I struggle with and she is my entire 'safe person', please help and thank you so much xoxox

  36. I think we have such a vital need for emotional connection that if we can't achieve that, it is as though we get a virtual death sentence from the world around us. But we have an even stronger instinct to live, so it is possible to get into a paradox, where if we were to carry out the death sentence to please the world, we would be allowed to live. I know this sounds weird. I always thought the mind was all one process, but they say it is many things going on which can conflict with each other.

  37. Would you be able to a video of performance anxiety in the work place? I suffer from this terribly! Thank you for your time. x

  38. I think you nailed it. My bulimia started out as a coping mechanism, a way to feel like even if I was eating I was still able to control my calories. Purging gave me that relief that I think people with anorexia also feel when they restrict. But then I think it evolved into more of a reward-punishment loop, where I was eating to cope and then punishing myself by purging. About a year ago I also began to hurt myself. I think a lot of EDs are a combination of coping and self-sabotage. Doing a PHP/IOP really helped me understand this.

  39. Does it apply for ARFID as well? I feel weird because at the same time I feel it doesn't apply I also have these thoughts of dying as a way to be free (I just don't know from what).

    I'm so confused nowadays. I have problems with IBS, milk allergy, cocoa allergy and glutamate monosodium sensitivity so I couldn't already eat a lot of things and now I was just diagnosed with reactive hypoglycemia and I am now in a low carb diet. I feel bad because I'm controling SO MUCH what I eat that I'm afraid in a way it's affecting my ARFID or vice versa. Still, I kind of forced myself to try new things, mostly vegetables and I feel like I'm less afraid of the things I know won't make me sick.

  40. Hey Kati I posted a comment a few months ago about you possibly doing a video or faq on how the legal process and how testifying against the person who raped you affects your mental health and ptsd #katifaq

  41. Hey Kati! As a part of my intensive outpatient treatment there is multifamily group. I'm not really sure what that is or what I should expect. Can you kinda explain what MFGT is? Thanks! love your videos!!

  42. Hi Kat.
    I just discovered your videos tonight and I really enjoyed them, so I want to ask you something.
    Maybe 3 years ago I started to feel very sad and with no objective in life.
    When I told my parents about this they do nothing, and they thought it was just ' a phase' so I never told to them about it again. Then, Last year I started to feel 'better' but not like before… sometimes I still fell useless and a failure, and then I feel guilty about it…
    I'm scared of returning to where I was before and feeling really shit again.
    Why should I do?
    Why I feel this way?
    I really want to know
    love you

  43. I some what agree however, I think it is more of a copping mechanism to deal with things that are going on or poor self image not an attempt at taking ones life. Though I do understand it can lead to health problems and even death.

  44. Question for future video- What is the difference between Binge Eating Disorder and Food Addiction? Is it possible for a person to have both BED and an addiction to food? IE, sometimes bingeing on a large amount of food at one time, but other times just grabbing smaller amounts of comfort foods throughout the day and not being able to stop yourself?

  45. Hey Kati, I have a question too!! I'm at a point where i am really comfortable with my body, and i wouldn't mind losing or gaining either. I dont't know if it would be 'normal' to not care at all? Can I not care about my weight? People usually diet before summer etc. and i really don't know what's normal anymore. Can I just be? idk sorry lol

  46. I've done this so much and now i understand why! I go through 'phases' don't really want to use that word but when i suicidal or dysphoric (im a tranguy) i starve myself as an attempt to get rid of me if that makes sense! And if I don't use this unhealthy coping skill the suicidal thought become so intense that some form of direct action is taken thank you for the awesome video once again kati 🙂 x

  47. #katiFAQ
    Hey Kati! I've got a question: my therapist kind of told me it's okay to cut/harm myself to release the pressure from myself.. She told me if my cuts won't get more severe it's okay.. And idk how I should feel about it.. My sh voice is telling me I should go deeper because it's not good enough .. I simply just don't know what I should do now. Pls help! ❤️

  48. Yes, is the answer. I have an eating disorder and my end goal is to get so skinny I die. Though I'm not exactly sure why, it's just this horrible compulsion that I have. I'm addicted to feeling tired and angry and ill.

  49. is it bad that my moms way of trying to get me to eat, is by saying that excersice is better and that you can "never have too much " of it?

  50. this is nothing related to this video but can you tell me if borderline personality disorder has to be originated from parents or can a bad environmental growing up paired with parenting that lets you do whatever you want also be a cause of this? for example my boyfriend grew up in the ghetto, involved in crime and only had a mom, dad was absent. sexually abused by neighbors. very traumatic (to me) but very normal for him. could this also lead to this disorder?

  51. I have a friend who loosely uses statements like "I just want to shoot myself" or "I can't sleep maybe I should just take a bottle of sleeping pills". She's not serious it's just her way of venting frustrations, she knows I have depression and anxiety and possibly other issues. How do I tell her to please not use phrases like these, that it really bothers me? Without hurting her feelings or making her feel bad?

  52. Hi Kati I have major depression, boyfriend has BPD been together for about 5 years now. I now feel as tho i have BPD, was seeing new concelor after 4 meetings with her feel more confused. I wish i could talk with you. this is my fourth relationship, am going up & down all day long. I do attend menth health club just dont feel as if am being validated. Help

  53. I've been living my whole life with an ED and didn't really know it until now. I figured it was a good idea to do some research to better my therapy and I found you're link. We've only had one session, but I can't wait to get back to them with this news. I've now found many coping mechanisms reminding me of "ED's" that are in my life. It feels like if I don't do something about it now, it will stay that way. This really is a huge help. Happy for you and anyone that sees this! 🙂 Thank you, Kati!!!!!

  54. #katiFAQ Hey Kati, two of my favorite YouTubers are both extremely skinny. I really like what they have to say but looking at their arms/bodies is really triggering. Should I still watch them? It makes me both happy and sad at the same time. I'm torn.

  55. I think it is similar to e.g. smoking for me because the feelings that stands behind the thing are (for me) pretty much the same. I know it is not healthy to smoke, but I do. And than in the next moment I fear death due to cancer, but I continue smoking. And some times I smoke so much, that I really feel bad (physically and mental). Next thoughts are "stop smoking, now, immediately! " but that other extreme does not work as well. Than I go on smoking. And so on and so on.
    Eating is the same to me. I try to eat normal, but on several day it does not work. That I fear death due to high blood pressure or anything else, but I eat way to much. I feel really bad physical and mental, but I'm pretty sure to do it again and again. Than my next thoughts are "ok now I eat nothing the next two weeks". but ofc, that does not work as well (glad to see!).

  56. For me personally, my ED developed to prove that I deserved to LIVE, if that makes sense. I'm not suicidal but I do feel like a burden sometimes. The sense of control, combined with a concerted effort to be perfect in other areas of my life, helped me to temporarily prove to myself that I deserved to live. I was earning my humanity.

  57. Hi Kati, or someone else who reads this comment.
    For some years now I have struggled periodically with eating disordered behaviors, but they have always passed after some time, for an unknown reason, and I have functioned normally for most of the time. However the behaviors have been serious and very destructive. During the struggling I try hard to hide my weight loss and mental state, but during the times I feel "alright" or when my eating disordered behaviors are non-existing, I have thought about telling someone about my problems. It was almost 6 months since the last time I struggled, except for occasional slip-ups. I'm wondering, should I seek help, even though I'm not struggling at the moment? Like to prevent slip-ups and future struggling, or just to get in touch with the reason for my behaviors? I have sought help before but the counselor didn't take me seriously, and I think she didn't know what to do since I was functioning and was in an okay mental state during the time I had contact with her. I have thoughts quite often, I idealize the idea of hurting myself and losing weight, and should I seek help for that, even though I don't act on it?

  58. In my opinion: any behavior done consciensly that someone is aware it can lead to his own death is a form of suicide. So in that optic I truely think that ED are , to some extent suicidal. Great Vid BTW Kati 🙂

  59. This was my question! Thank you for replying!
    Thankfully since i asked this, i no longer meet criteria but my therapist says that i'm still in an ed mindset :/

  60. Am I on the edge of an ED if I have periods of times (like maybe ten days or two weeks or more) where I restrict (quite heavily sometimes) and do all the counting-calories-keeping-a-food-log-watching-cooking-videos-things and get anxious about food and have a thousand rules but then I am fine for a few weeks/months and even gain back all the weight?
    Are thoughts like "I'll stop eating until I have disappeared" and "I don't even care, I just want to stop existing" passive suicidal thoughts?
    Just wondering….

  61. I think they can be, and pretty often are. I certainly had thoughts of wanting to "fade away" and "dissapear" through weight loss. I think there can be a sort of symbolic meaning to it, of wanting to not take up literal space, because you feel you have no place in the world.

  62. hi Kati ive been dealing with an anorexia for a while and i know that my calcium is most likely extremely low. I do allot of physical work and can't afford to have weak bones, i have a doctors appointment coming up and i wanted to ask my doctor about getting calcium supplements but im 17 and im worried that they will have to tell my mom if i explain to them why i need them i already have a therapist who knows about my eating disorder is there anyway to avoid them telling my mom

  63. Throughout my life I've suffered from various eating disorders, and I'd like to emphasise that my struggles with BED and bulimia (at separate times in my life) were not at all linked to suicidal ideation, but my Anorexia Nervosa was very much so. At 15 I entered a period of very severe depression which bordered on catatonic, and (I won't go into how it actually worked because that has to do with my complex dissociative disorder and will detract from what I'm trying to say) while at first, restricting was a coping mechanism, it very quickly became a suicide plan. I completely understand that often these things are passive, but I would consider mine active as it was planned/premeditated and my restriction was so extreme.

  64. Hey kati, I was wondering if you could talk about the difference between eating disorders in children and adults? thanks

  65. I'm sorry, I have to disagree, and I hope that you will read this and take these thoughts into consideration. It's true that eating disorders CAN be an act of slow suicide, but I don't think that that inherently means all ED's are suicidal behaviors. A lot of eating disorders are about self-harm (again, not all of them), but self-harm is not inherently suicidal; it's possible to cut, burn, overexercise (whatever is someone's poison) without wanting to die. Instead, it's just sometimes the only relief that someone has been able to find. I don't deny that eating disorders are inherently dangerous, but just because something is dangerous, doesn't mean that it's suicidal behavior. Mountain climbing is an incredibly dangerous sport, but most people agree that it has no connection to suicide. Rather, mountain climbers acknowledge that their sport is dangerous, that their is an inherent (and high) risk of injury or death, but they continue to do it because the positive aspects they receive from it (whether that's fitness, a connection to nature, or an adrenaline rush) outweigh the risks. In much the same way, a person with an ED can acknowledge the risk of injury or death from their disorder, they can have no desire for these things to happen to them, but in some way, they have consciously or subconsciously decided that the positive aspects they receive from it (whether that's control, comfort, or a brief relief from self-hatred) outweighs the risk.

  66. thx for this ha bisky vid i loved this a lot and if you are suicidal also watch cardgamesftw vids because he is dealing with suicidal thoughts at time they have been gone for awhile but he has vids when he talks about them

  67. Hey Kati, could you make a video on being diagnosed with anorexia nervosa but being at a healthy weight? I've been recently given this diagnosis and I'm having a really hard time accepting it as I know I don't fit the stereotypical image of anorexia.
    Thank you for reading!

  68. I've been struggling a lot lately. I know you probably won't see this, but I really need help with eating. I feel miserable, and I'm trying so hard. I don't understand why, but I am constantly refusing to eat. I can't finish my shifts at work and I can't figure out why – I can't tell if I'm actually eating too little or what it is, but I physically cannot do activities I need to be able to. I try to eat when I start feeling weak and unable to perform regular tasks, but I get scared that it's not just fuel for my body. I'm terrified of gaining weight, but I'm scared because I can't physically do anything that I want to or need to do. I feel lost in my own mind, and I feel so helpless toward myself, like I am unable to solve this problem even though I want to and I know I need to.

  69. My social worker say i have everything to be happy… that i have s family, school is doing good… im getting mental health… i have an appartment and a boyfriend…. and that i have more control in my life that i think. That she doesn't understand why i have an eating disorder.

  70. I love how you bring up that an eating disorder may have served us for a time and could have been our coping mechanism but when it no longer serves us that's when it's time to make a change. Thank you. Sometimes it's so good to hear that I'm a normal person who is on the right path toward recovery!!!

  71. Reach out for help???? Dear Kati, Im a student in a professional program & has been living with bulimia more than half of my life. I decided to get help but you know what was my answer from ALL the programs & hospitals specialized in ED?! "WE DONT ACCEPT MEDICAID" The only thing I got out of reaching out for help is having eating disorder in my medical record without even getting help for it! Btw, Im from Chicago

  72. I used it as a suicide plan. It's less hard if I died of a complication caused by something no one knew I had. Right? That was my logic. Now I'm a little better, I see how insane the eating disorder habits and thoughts were and how much of a horrible person it made me. I felt like I turned into my worst nightmare and couldn't escape.

  73. what if youve been dealing with your eating disorder for 15 years and you feel like there's no way you will ever change

  74. I dont know if I have an eating disorder I've started purging and not after a binge just when I've eaten like an apple or crisps then I excersize a lot and if I dont purge I just wont eat or I'll binge then purge I deal with some other things such as self harm and PTSD etc but I dont knwo if I have an eating disorder as I'm not losing weight and I've not been doing it years or anything so can someone help?

  75. I definitely wanted/want lose weight, but when I was actively suicidal, I would definitely restrict food and/or purge in many ways to hurt myself. The weight thing was at the back of my mind, but it was at least half "I hope I get x from purging and die" etc.

    I'm thankful for this video. 👍

  76. My thirteen-year-old son is suffering from this and I don't know how to help him. He won't talk about it. He's not rational and blows up at the slightest mention of it. I am at my wits ends. Counselors in my area suck, because they won't take my insurance and charge more than I can afford.

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