Hello. I’m here to do the voice-over for the “Hungry Hippos” movie trailer. It’s “Hunger Games!” Oh, you again! Hello, Frank. Still employed, huh? Guess they didn’t get my comment card from last time. Wonderful to see you again as well. The script is already in the booth. Oh, perfect! Then I won’t need to waste this toilet paper that I bought. Expensive stuff- -YOU WILL NOT CRAP IN THE BOOTH, AGAIN! Afraid of improving the decor in here, are we? Look, just shut your face, roll the trailer, turn on the mic, and call Planned Parenthood. Why would I call Planned Parenthood, Frank? ‘Cause I’m about to make love to your eardrums [in deep voice] with my sexy voice! [in quiet annoyed voice] God. Don’t come crying to me when you’re pregnant with my ear-babies! [humps microphone vigorously and mockingly] Hey, stop doing that. Rolling sound…action! From Milton Bradley- -Lionsgate! NO INTERRUPTIONS! Finally, a movie where one young girl has to make the ultimate decision of [in mocking girly voice] which boy do I like best?! [normal voice] I vote for the one that turns into the sexy wolf, personally. That’s “Twilight”! Heh, you would know. Oh, shit, aliens. Okay, this looks promising. Oh, that must be the hippos’ ship! A concentration camp for white children only with a halftime show starring…Madonna? YAY! She won the trip to Aruba! But the jealous sister wants in on the action, too. Typical sister move. [in a mocking Jan voice] Marcia, Marcia, Marica Wait, what the blazes is going on here?! Where are the bloody hippos?! It’s the future, and “Catnip”- “Katniss!” “KIt-Kat.” “Katniss!” “Chip-dip” has to fight an army of hippos who just see her as a delicious white marble. Oh, look! It’s the guy from “Brokeback Mountain”. No, it’s not! [in quiet voice] Probably your favorite movie. Yeah, it’s an excellent film! From the epic novels that “Tween Beat” Magazine gave 5/5 “OMGs” The most exciting literary achievement since “Superfudge” [in muffled voice] “Cloud City Empire Strikes Back” Cut! Frank, all you have to do is read off the paper. What is with you and the bloody paper? Do you get money every time you mention paper or something? I want some money. Paper, paper, paper! Nothing. Shall we continue? Journey to the center of the “L’oreal” factory where Lenny Kravitz is the evil stylist for the evil prom where Jack Bauer’s dad is principal Ooh! “I whip my hair back and forth!” I love her! [singing off-key] “I whip my hair back and forth. I whip my hair back and forth. I whip my hair back and for-” -Frank! The paper, read it! Oh, Woody! Nice hair. Get Lenny Kravitz to help you with that. Lenny Kravitz… Good bloke… but he will relieve you of your girlfriend. Thanks very much for that information, Frank. Probably not something you have to worry about, though. Is this gonna be on “ESPN”? ‘Cause this is a sport I would definitely watch. No, Frank. It’s a movie based on a book. Yeah, for little girls like you. Yes, I know. Oh, that guy dies. I’m sure of it. He’s got “victim” written all o- Wait, does he have “victim” written on his face? No, Frank! He’s just got a fanciful beard… with a lot of curls in it. “Crab dip” gets her name on the list at Lenny Kravitz’s club where the V.I.P. room is… IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST! Where the hippos will try to eat you! Run, “Catsitter”, Run! She takes cat-sitting very seriously. This spring, prepared to be dragged to the movies by your girlfriend. “The Hunger Games!” Where your food plays with you! Rated: HPV for “hippo violence”. See it and you might get laid. Okay. That was completely useless. Would you like to try it again? [in a mocking voice] Yes, sir. But first, would you direct me to the lavatory? Take a right down the hall and it’s your first lef- [normal voice] Oh! Too slow. What do you mean by that? It appears, I have crapped in your booth again. Deal with it. Oh! Good news, though. I didn’t do it on your precious paper. Haha! Rated: AWESOME!