Hungry For Power Games: A Look Back

Hungry For Power Games: A Look Back


>>Stephen: WELCOME BACK TO ME
DRINKING ALREADY IN PROGRESS. AS YOU MAY KNOW, ONE OF THE MOST
BELOVED CHARACTERS HERE ON THE “LATE SHOW” IS CAJUN POPE.>>HOWDY! WE GONNA HAVE A CRAWFISH PIE AND
THE I’M GONNA TAKE-A YOUR CONFESSEEON. THEN I WILL GIVE YOU
ABSOLUSHEEON. CAJUN JESUS GON’ GO AND RISE
AGAIN FROM DAT DERE SWAMP, I GUARANTEE.>>Stephen: THANK YOU, CAJUN
POPE.>>NICE TO SEE YOU, STEPHEN. I ENJOYED YOUR CONVENTION
COVERAGE.>>Stephen: HE’S A CROWD
PLEASER. EVERYBODY LOVES HIM. BUT THIS WEEK WE HAD A VISIT
FROM ANOTHER BELOVED “LATE SHOW” CHARACTER. JULIUS FLICKERMAN AT THE
CONVENTION CENTER IN CLEVELAND. JULIUS WAS A FIXTURE OF OUR
PRIMARY COVERAGE ALL YEAR. SO TONIGHT WE TAKE A FOND LOOK
BACK AT THE SAVAGE BLOODSPORT THAT IS OUR POLITICAL SYSTEM. IT’S LIKE THE HUNGER GAMES. NO, IT’S WORSE THAN THAT,
IT’S… THE HUNGRY FOR POWER GAMES! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HA HA! WELCOME! HA HA HA! YES! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! YES! MMM! WELCOME TO THE HUNGRY FOR POWER
GAMES! CANDIDATES, ASSEMBLE! (LAUGHTER)
AH, YES, YES, LOOK HERE, A FRESH CROP OF TRIBUTES FOR THE
CAPITOL. MAY THE MARGIN OF ERROR FOREVER
BE IN YOUR FAVOR! (LAUGHTER)
WHO LOOKS EXPENDABLE THIS YEAR? HMM… YES, YES. HAVE THE LARGE ANGRY ONE FROM
THE EAST FIGHT THE CURLY-HAIRED ONE FROM THE COAL DISTRICT. (LAUGHTER)
DELICIOUS! TRIBUTES ASSEMBLE! OH… THERE THEY ARE. THERE THEY ARE, VYING TO BE
CHAMPION OF CAPITAL CITY. OH, HOW THEIR RANKS ARE
THINNING. THE FIELD IS GETTING ALMOST AS
SMALL AS LGBT VOTERS FOR TED CRUZ! TRIBUTE ASSEMBLE! (LAUGHTER)
OH, MY… OH, MY, THEY’RE DWINDLING. NOW THEY’RE JUST HILLARY CLINTON
AND THE SEVEN DWARFS. AND BEN CARSON IS BOTH SLEEPY
AND DOC. (LAUGHTER)
OH, OH SO FEW REMAIN. THEY’RE LIKE THE BEATLES, BUT
THERE ARE SIX OF THEM AND THERE ARE ALL RINGO. (LAUGHTER)
CITIZENS, LAST WEEK THE GAMES LOST A BRAVE FIGHTER IN RICK
PERRY. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY HE’S GONE TO
A BETTER PLACE, BUT I BELIEVE HE LIVES IN HOUSTON.>>I’M WITHDRAWING FROM ANY
CONSIDERATION OF BEING THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY’S NOMINEE FOR
THE PRESIDENCY.>>Stephen: YES, JIM WEBB IS
WITHDRAWING FROM CONSIDERATION. I AM SURE THAT WILL COME AS A
DISAPPOINTMENT TO HIS SUPPORTER. (LAUGHTER)
SO SAD. SO SAD. YEAH… SO FAREWELL TRIBUTE, WEBB. I’D SAY WE HARDLY KNEW YE BUT
HARDLY IS TOO GENEROUS A TERM SINCE YOU WERE POLLING IN OHIO
AND NEW HAMPSHIRE AT ZERO PERCENT — GOOSE EGG! JUST PROVING IF A TREE FALLS IN
THE WOODS AND NO ONE IS AROUND TO HEAR IT, IT WOULD STILL GET
MORE VOTES THAN JIM WEBB.>>WE HAVE TO STOP BEING THE
SUPER PARTY. NO SECRET WE HAD A NUMBER OF
REPUBLICANS WHO TARNISHED THE BRAND WITH OFFENSIVE AND BIZARRE
COMMENTS. WE’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT.>>Stephen: APPARENTLY NOT
BECAUSE OFFENSIVE AND BIZARRE ARE IN FIRST AND SECOND PLACE. YES! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
BRAVO! BRAVO! OH, YES! HA! BUT IT HAS BEEN QUITE AN
ADVENTURE SO FAR FOR JINDAL. WHO CAN FORGET THE MAGIC MOMENT
WHEN HE ANNOUNCED HIS CAMPAIGN FROM A VIDEO RECORDER FROM
BEHIND A TREE LIMB. THIS IS AS CLOSE AS HE’LL EVER
GET TO THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH! (LAUGHTER)
I’M A SHARK, AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! ARGH! AHHH! (APPLAUSE)
YEAH! HA HA! I’M A PIRATE, ARGH! WHEN THE VOTES WERE COUNTED IN
IOWA, GILMORE WON 12. NOT 12%, NOT 12 DELEGATES, 12
PEOPLE. (LAUGHTER)
TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE, IN LAYMAN’S TERMS, IF YOU LINED
THOSE PEOPLE UP FROM END TO END, IT WOULD BE EASY BECAUSE THERE
ARE ONLY 12 OF THEM. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE) KEEP THIS IN MIND, HE ONLY GOT
12 VOTES! THAT IS LESS — AND THIS IS
TRUE, WE LOOKED IT UP — THAN THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN IOWA
NAMED JIM GILMORE. BEFORE I CONTINUE, I WANT TO
INTRODUCE MY NEW CO-HOST KALIGULA. HE’S LIKE MANY PRESIDENTIAL
CANDIDATES, WHEN HE FIRST APPEARS ON THE SCENE, HE SEEMS
FIERCE, BUT THEN YOU SOON REALIZE, DEAD ON ARRIVAL! THE BLOOD LETTING BEGAN WITH
NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR AND QUASI MOTEO’S HANDSOME GOVERNOR CHRIS
CHRISTIE. A BIRTHDAY PARTY WHO YOUR
ARENTS MADE YO YOU ATTEND, MARCO RUBIO. RICRICK SANTORUM. WITHDRAWING FROM THE RACE AND AS
A GOOD CATHOLIC WITHDRAWAL IS THE ONLY METHOD HE APPROVES OF. CHAMPAGNE IS GOING FLAT. WHERE IS MY VOICESLESS EUNUCH? THIS IS ANDRO, MY MAN BOY. MAYBE HAPPY NOW. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER) NO NEED TO THANK ME. BACK IN THE PIT, ANDRO! MMM, MMM. OH, YES. MMM. YES. THAT HAS ALL THE SPARKLE BEN
CARSON LACKED.>>I’M SO GRATEFUL FOR THE HELP
YOU GUYS HAVE GIVEN US. THERE IS KNOT MORGUE YOU COULD
HAVE DONE.>>Stephen: WELL, YOU COULD
HAVE VOTED FOR HIM, BUT BESIDES THAT. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
YOU WILL NOTICE THE SLOGAN ON THE PODIUM YESTERDAY WAS
STRONGER TOGETHER BECAUSE BERNIE REJECTED HILLARY’S ORIGINAL
IDEA, IT’S ABOUT (BLEEP) TIME. (APPLAUSE)
SADLY FOR THESE TRIBUTES, IT’S TIME TO BID FAREWELL AND ETCH
SADLY FOR MY BECAUSE THIS IS THE PART OF THE SHOW I’M ALLOWED TO
DRINK CHAMPAGNE IN. HA HA — I HAVE A PROBLEM. (LAUGHTER)
NOW, LET’S PAY TRIBUTE TO THE FALON. FALON — TO THE FALLEN. (LAUGHTER)
♪ ♪
>>Stephen: SO IT IS MY HONOR TO HEREBY LAUNCH AND BEGIN THE
2016 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL HUNGRY FOR POWER GAMES! LOOK, LOOK, I KNOW I’M NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE UP HERE, BUT LET’S BE HONEST, NEITHER IS
DONALD TRUMP!

100 Replies to “Hungry For Power Games: A Look Back

  1. Ok, this is probably a stupid question, but i'm gonna ask anyway. Is that suited secret service look alike at the end the real deal or some actor hired by the show?

  2. Guys… The DNC got emails leaked which show hostility towards Bernie Sanders in discussion on preventing his campaign from winning… Could he still get the nomination…?

  3. I wouldn't complain if they released a Hunger Games movie where everything's the same except Caesar Flickerman is Stephen xD I'd watch the heck outta that.

  4. I'm thinking will Caesar move in with "Stephen" and Jon after this election?
    A cabin full of Stephen sound great

  5. This is easily the best thing about 2016 campaign. RIP tributes! And come Inauguration Day 2017, RIP America.

  6. go to therealnews, rt America or democracynow on YouTube for non-distractive news coverage of American and world affairs

  7. A Bud Light? Seriously, Stephen? You are a talk show host. You can't be seeing drink that bottled dog piss. If you're going to drink on camera, pick a better beer. Please.

  8. Stephen was using this year to prepare himself for when Hillary or Trump implements the real Hunger Games next year.

  9. Loved his last line:"I know I'm not suppose to be here, but let's be honest, so is DT" HaHahaha Snap!!!! Go Stephen!

  10. "Welcome to me drinking, already in progress".

    If Pokemon Go doesn't cut into my alcoholism that is probably how I will answer all phone calls past this November.

  11. "Look, look, I know I'm not supposed to be here, but neither is Donald Trump," that last part cracked me up.

  12. Fantastic segment. I just watched The Hunger Games and he is really spot with his impression, especially his laughing

  13. he's constantly eating and drinking on his show, ever notice that? he's been on less than a year and so far i've counted oreos, popcorn, hamburgers, hotdogs, grilled cheese, cereal, butter, cat food, cheese, crackers, ice cream, and drinks on several occasions.

  14. If/when Trump is impeached and removed from office…Colbert needs to dedicate an entire show to Hungry For Power Games.

  15. lol first off, Cajuns do not say howdy lol second, please do this bit if Trump gets impeached πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Please and Thank You Lmfbo !!!!!

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