The Hungry To Leave Power Games: Scott Pruitt

The Hungry To Leave Power Games: Scott Pruitt


>>Stephen: SPEAKING OF
ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTERS, DONALD TRUMP GOT RID OF EPA DIRECTOR
AND MAN WHO TURNED DOWN HELP AT LENS CRAFT EVERS– CRAFTERS
SCOTT PRUITT. PRUITT IS JUST THE LATEST
OFFICIAL THAT THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS EXCRETED, IN
A LITTLE OVER A YEAR THEY HAVE LOST GARY COHN, HOPE HICKS, ROB
PORTER OMAROSA, TOM PRIES, STEVE BANNON, REINCE PRIEBUS, SEAN
SPIESESSER, AN ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI, SEBASTIAN GORKA
MICHAEL FLYNN, DR. RONNY JACKSON AND REX TILLERSON. SO MANY PEOPLE THAT WE SNUCK IN
WILFORD BRIMLEY AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE. RIGHT THERE. HEY,– FOR THOSE OF US IN THE
MEDIA, THIS ONGOING STAFF PURGE IS — IS AMAZING TO WATCH. IT’S LIKE A FORM OF BLOOD
SUPPORT. WE EVER WE’RE RIFFITY– RIVETTED
IT IS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF THE HUNGER GAMES. NO, WAIT! IT IS THE HUNGARY TO LEAVE POWER
GAMES. — HUNGRY TO LEAVE POWER GAMES. YES, HELLO! WELCOME. WELCOME CITIZENS, ONE AND ALL TO
THE HUNGRY TO LEAVE POWER GAMES! OH, HMMMM, SOMEONE IS GETTING
ERASED. COME CALIGULA. COME BOY, YES, YES, DOWN, DOWN. TONIGHT, CITIZENS, WE HONOR EPA
HEAD SCOTT PRUITT. A MAN WHOSE ONLY FLAW WAS BEING
TERRIBLE. (LAUGHTER)
S AHEAD OF THE EPA PRUITT HAD A PASSION FOR PROTECTING OUR
NATION’S FRAGILE INDUSTRIALISTS. EARLY ON HE MET PRIVATELY WITH
THE CEO OF DOW CHEMICAL WHEREUPON HE DECIDED TO APPROVE
CHORPYRIFOS, THE PESTICIDE THAT HEALTH STUDIES SHOWED CAN HARM
CHILDREN’S BRAINS, WHICH IS NOT EVIL, ACCORDING TO ANYONE WHO
HAS BEEN HUFFING CHORPYRIFOS. (LAUGHTER)
DO WE HAVE, DO WE HAVE– YES, HMMMM, HMMMM, HMMMM, HMMMM. HMMMM, HMMMM, YES, I CAN REALLY
SMELL THE, I CAN’T READ. (LAUGHTER)
OH, WOW, DO YOU KNOW IT IS IMPORTANT, IF ARE YOU GOING TO
SPRAY YOURSELF IN THE FACE WITH A MIST. TAKE OFF YOUR GLASSES. THAT’S THE KEY. (APPLAUSE).>>Stephen: AHA!, THIS IS WHY,
THIS IS IS WHY YOU DO THIS [BLEEP] IN REHEARSAL. HMMMM, I CAN FEEL THE BRAIN
DAMAGE ALREADY. (LAUGHTER)
THEN, THEN CITIZENS, THEN, NO, NO, NO, NO, ARE YOU ON THE
WAGON. NOW THEN SCOTTY SPENT MILLIONS
OF TAXPAYER CASH ON SECURITY, FIRST CLASS TRAVEL INCLUDING
UNNECESSARY TRIPS TO ITALY AND MORE OAKO NOT TO MENTION
SPENDING $1500 ON 12 CUSTOMIZED FOUNTAIN PENS FROM A JEWELRY
STORE, PRICEY, YES. BUT YOU NEED ONLY THE FINEST PEN
WHEN THIS IS YOUR SIGNATURE. IS IT ME OR DOES THAT LOOK LIKE
SCOTT PENIS? YES. (APPLAUSE)
IT IS LIKE DEEP DOWN HE KNOWS HE’S A DICK. HA HA. IT’S A CRY FOR HELP! (LAUGHTER)
NOW ARE THEY– NOPE, STILL NO, ALL RIGHT. PRUITT, PRUITT ALSO BOUGHT A 4
3,000 DOLLAR SOUND PROOF PHONE BOOTH. I GET TRK WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE
EMBARRASSING PHONE CALLS TO OUR DOCTORS. HELLO? HELLO, THIS IS SCOTT PENIS, I’VE
GOT A BURNING RASH ON MY PRUITT. (LAUGHTER)
SCOTT, SCOTT ALSO HAD HIS SECURITY DETAIL RUN ERRANDS FOR
HIM INCLUDING PICKING UP HIS DRY CLEANING AND TAKING HIM IN
SEARCH OF HIS FAVORITE MOISTURIZING LOTIONS AT THE RITZ
CARLTON. GETTING A HOTEL ROOM FOR THE
MOISTURIZER IS LIKE HAVING A BABY SO PEOPLE WILL GIVE YOU
FREE SOCKS. DOESN’T HE KNOW THEY JUST FILL
UP THOSE LITTLE BOTTLES FROM A BIG LOTION JUG. GRAB THE JUG AND RUN, SCOTT,
RUN! (LAUGHTER)
BUT PRUITT WASN’T JUST IN THIS FOR HIMSELF. NO, BECAUSE HE USED HIS POSITION
TO TRY TO GET A CHICK-FILL-A FRANCHISE FOR HIS WIFE WHICH
REMINDED ME, ANDRO! (LAUGHTER)
ANDRO, THIS IS ANDRO MY TONGUELESS MAN SERVANT. ANDRO, ANDRO! SAD NEWS. I WAS UNABLE TO SECURE YOU A
CARL’S, JR. FRANCHISE. DON’T CRY, SHHH. SHHH, NO, SHHH. BUT DID YOU GO BY THE ARBY’S AND
GRAND ME A HANDFUL OF THEIR DELICIOUS HORSY LOTIONS? OH YES, OH GOOD, YES, GOT TO
STAY MOIST, MUST MOISTURIZE. OH YES. HMMMM, HMMMM, HMMMM. HMMMM HMMMM. YES, HMMMM, HMMMM, STAY FOCUSED. STAY FOCUSED. DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME. DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME! DON’T YOU LOOK– SHHH. YES, QUICKLY NOW. GO, GO, I WILL GIVE YOU A 20
MINUTE HEAD START NO EDGE WEAPONS. AGAIN, THERE IS A REASON WHY YOU
ARE SUPPOSED TO USE THESE IN REHEARSAL. (LAUGHTER)
DEFERL IMPROVED THE SMELL. UNFORTUNATELY PRUITT WAS FORCED
TO RESIGN LAST WEEK AFTER THE NEWS CAME OUT THAT EARLIER THIS
YEAR PRUITT DIRECTLY APPEALED TO PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP TO FIRE
ATTORNEY GENERAL JEFF SESSIONS AND LET PRUITT RUN THE
DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE INSTEAD. I’M SO SORRY, SCOTTMENT CAN I
ONLY IMAGINE HOW GREAT THEIR PENS WERE. BUT FREUITY– PRUITT WAS EVER
GRACIOUS IN DEFEAT WRITING IN HIS RESIGNATION LETTER TO
PRESIDENT TRUMP MY DESIRE AND SERVICE TO YOU HAS ALWAYS BEEN
TO BLESS YOU. I BELIEVE YOU’RE SERVING AS
PRESIDENT TODAY BECAUSE OF GOD’S PROVIDENCE. I PRAY AS I HAVE SERVED YOU,
THAT I HAVE BLESSED YOU. YOU MUST ADMIRE A MAN WHOSE
WILLING TO PUCKER UP AND SMOOCH THE OLD BLESS-HOLE. (LAUGHTER)
[BLEEP] NOW IT’S TIME TO BID SECRETARY PREUITY A SYMBOLIC
FAREWELL. WE WILL SEND HIM DOWN THE TOXIC
RIVER IN HIS VERY OWN SOUND PROOF BOOTH. THERE YOU GO. GOOD-BYE, SCOTT. THERE YOU ARE, IN YOUR BOOTH. THERE YOU GO. OF COURSE WITH A
GENEROUS– THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. HAVE SOME OF THAT. THERE YOU GO. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO, THERE YOU GO. THERE. ININSIDE PRUITT WILL FOREVER BE
SERENADED BY SIMON AND GAR FUNK HE’LL THE SOUND OF SILENCE. JIMMY, TURN IT ON. OF COURSE YOU CAN’T HEAR IT. CUZ IT’S A SOUND PROOF BOOTH. YOU COULDN’T BELIEVE HOW MUCH
MONEY WE WASTED ON THAT SONG. NOW–
(APPLAUSE) LET US BID FAIRWELL TO THE
FALLEN. ♪
(LAUGHTER). ♪
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).>>Stephen: GOOD-BYE SCOTT
PRUITT, AND REMEMBER TO STAY MOISTURIZED IN HELL. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH GORDON
RAMSAY.

100 Replies to “The Hungry To Leave Power Games: Scott Pruitt

  1. Too bad he got replaced by a former coal lobbyist 🙂 cause we're still not addressing the root of the problem.

  2. If I could have just one shitty superpower, it'd be the ability to edit arbitrary subtitles so I could fix the abomination that is Stephen's subtitles: there's a huge difference between "someone's getting a raise" and "someone's getting erased". And there's no such place as "More Oako".

  3. Conservatives talk about "eliminating unnecessary and wasteful government spending" yet they were all ok with Scott Pruitt up until a month ago

  4. Not only does Pruitt’s signature look like the word penis, but the P and the top line of the T looks like a penis … well …

  5. Colbert:who validated the king of the throne 🤔MHMM isn't it the famous billionaire.???

  6. Is it me?
    Or does that look like "Scott Penis"?
    It's like deep down he knows he's a duck?😂

  7. Every time one of these "praiseworthy" Trumpistadores leaves (never to be heard of again–did you notice?), we're left with the memory that the ONE who SHOULD bid us farewell is still where he ought not be…

  8. The Power Games skits are the most bizarre and the most funniest stuff on the Late Show. Stephen absolutely shines during them.

  9. Scott Pruitt, the elite swamp dweller, that Trump was supposed to protect us from…may they both rot in hell…

  10. Tongueless man-servant? Oh, I thought he was just parodying the movies, but it seems he (or whoever wrote this bit) read the books… Or the wiki for them. 😅

  11. Stephen Colbert mimicking a character who I'm pretty sure was designed after Stephen Colbert… I feel oddly uncomfortable.

  12. The only swamp Trump drains is the one he fills himself. The sad thing is I woulnd't even mind this so much if it weren't for the fact that when after ALL Of this he STILL claims he is an excellent judge of character when it's clear to ANYONE that he isn't. Ulysses S. Grant had a scandal plagued administration to but I don't think he ever claimed time and time again to "have the best people"

  13. Genius send off. Fare they poorly, dejected daft delinquent puppet Pruitt. FOR SALE: Select Choice Prime Quisling. Will Be Your Sycophant In Exchange For Unlimited Expense Account. (IMHO)

  14. Stephen Colbert is not at all funny and it's mostly his insane obsession with propagandizing the sheep against Trump and anything non-communist. His worshipful followers would be insulted if they had more than a few braincells. How lame.

  15. wish someone would find out how much colbert pays to clap….you'd have to get paid otherwise everyone would just sit there….its funny that the laughing is recorded….listen to it….same everytime

  16. Republican party plan :
    1. Approve Chlopyrifos so that the entire next generation gets brain damaged and then can be fooled into following the republicans
    2. Give them guns so that they can kill anyone who disagrees with them (aka kill all progressives and liberals) and kill all immigrants.
    3. Teach them the "value of life " aka anti abortion propaganda so they can repopulate US with the republican party base.
    4. Rule for all eternity mwahahahahahaha……

  17. It's been awhile, but if I recall, wasn't there like over 200 government appointees during the Reagan administration that were fired with cause or in prison? Not defending trump, cause he's a deluxe can of stupid arrogance fragrance, but just ask yourself, how many will go to jail/quit/fired in the next 3 years? I think Trump could surpass Reagan as the leader of elimination of government waste and spending, just by hiring and firing his own senior staff. Dollar for dollar, my money's on Trump.

  18. Trump actually said he was going to ELIMINATE the EPA and the Dept. of Education! It'll be interesting to see the number of instances of CANCER now vs 3-5 years from now. And sure, the education of your CHILDREN doesn't matter. The EARTH that we depend on TO LIVE, doesn't matter.

  19. Every so often I rewatch this just to get a chuckle out of Stephen rubbing lotion on the bald head of a staffer desperately trying not to burst into laughter… xDD

  20. Andro and Caligula are two of the greatest characters on television; helped, of course, by the great writing, and the timing of Mr. Colbert.

    It’s great watching Stephen trying to make Andro corpse; you can see he knows exactly what he’s doing, especially when he shushes him, and puts a finger on his mouth haha.

    The Hungry For/To Leave Power Games was one of my favourite segments, during the 2016 race; really hope they bring it back for the 2020 presidential race.
    I love the “Doing it Donkey Style” segment, Colbert is doing; to announce which Democrats are entering the race; but I hope he switches back to the “Hungry For Power Games” when we know the final list of candidates.

    It doesn’t matter that ‘The Hunger Games’ film franchise is finished; people will still know what he’s referencing, whether or not they are fans of: Colbert, or The Hunger Games’.
    Even the people, who have never seen either, will still get it, on some level; I doubt their are many people, who haven’t at least heard of ‘The Hunger Games’: whether it be the novels, or the movies, so they should be able to guess the segment has got something to do with that series.

    And if some people don’t get it…fuck ‘em; they’re obviously morons, if they aren’t able to figure out something so simple.
    If they don’t get the link between the title of this segment, and ‘The Hunger Games’ franchise itself; I doubt they’ll understand the jokes either; possibly/probably down to them being too stupid…but I digress haha.

    He should also keep doing this segment for all of the firings and resignations from the dumpster, fire that is the Trump administration.

    There’s just so much material there.
    Trump’s presidency really is a double edged sword: on the one hand, he’s probably the worst thing to happen to the US, since 9/11, and one of the most dangerous humans on the planet, due to him being a fucking sociopath, with a mixture: of narcissism, stupidity, arrogance, ineptitude, cruelty, corruption, and a bad tan; coupled with being the leader of the most powerful country in the world: with one of the largest militaries in history, and enough nuclear weapons to wipe out the planet many, times over, should the whim take him.

    BUT, on the other hand; he has been absolutely gold for comedy and satire…

    …I suppose; when you weigh those two perspectives up, they don’t really balance out all that well haha.

    Oh, well; hopefully it will all be over soon: either through the investigations, or the ballot box in 2020…that’s if we make it to 2020 haha.

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